The top New York Mets turkeys of all-time: 2012 edition (part one)

Wow another year has gone by, and it’s time for another Turkeys column. Some members of this list stay forever, some go as my rage subsides, and others join the list. Let’s get started…

Our first newcomer pains me. Jason Bay seems like such a nice man. I think he really tried. I think that the concussions took his game away from him. However, .234 26 and 124 in THREE seasons compels me to add him to the list. It never worked here in New York, from minute one.

By the way, I’ve seen this movie. Expect Bay to hit .334 26 and 124 in 2013 with his new team.

Nope, don’t get your panties in a bunch.
I’m not naming the man in the middle. I’m naming the man on the left who I believe to be Peter Greenberg and an agent for Jose Reyes. When faced between a big commission at 12:01am and your client’s happiness always take the payday so you can be in bed before Letterman is over.

This next one is also very painful to me….

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Terry Collins you knew better. You knew. You knew right after the game.

“My heart told me to take him out due to the fact that I’m playing with a huge piece of the organization,” Collins said of his thinking as he watched Santana’s pitch count rise. “If this guy goes down, it’d be pretty drastic for us.”

Everyone got drunk on no-nosas that night. I tweeted in the 5th inning that he was at 75 pitches. Terry should have walked over to Santana then and there and said “don’t even think about it.” It was one hell of a hangover.

You have to manage a season Terry, you’re not a fan, you’re the steward. For that, your punishment is that I will use an image of you in stupid black uniforms, which brings us to…

Whoever decided to have the team wear black on John Franco night. It’s not John’s fault , he actually wore blue and orange, but the fact of the matter was the season was going great until they snubbed their nose as the sartorial gods. First place on June 3rd, no-hitters, all kinds of fun. The rest of the way they played .398 ball. Dress better.

This next man made the list in 2011. One would think that it would be nearly impossible for a 1986 Met to add himself to this list, but this nominee tried so hard. No matter what, one could always count on Lenny Dykstra to be caught up in something you’d rather not be caught up in.

Were we to make a list of Mets players to invite to Opening Day, he’d probably come in second last, beat only by our next turkey.

This man could not help the team on the mound. He would not help the team or himself by agreeing to go the minors to try to get better. This turkey ate a roster spot for half a season and in blowouts where Jerry Manuel used me for three innings before even looking at #46 .

He has more money than all of us combined, but you know him, you love him…

There was another new nominee for 2011. I think the less time wasted on this man the better…but the Turkey list would be incomplete without him, and we continue to suffer from his actions.

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In no particular order, here are some of the great Mets Turkeys of the past…

2/3rds of Generation K: I think it was best put by a friend of mine (whose brain I picked for this article) who said “Pulsipher, Isringhuasen and The Other Guy.” Yep, these three pitchers were going to dominate the 1990s. Izzy had a decent career somewhere else, Pulse was a mess, and you’re still trying to remember the other guy’s name. In the past the entire Generation made the list…but in 2011 we had our first UnTurkey – Jason Isringhausen came home and had a great season. You’re off the list. The rest of you – well at least you dressed nicely.

Kaz Matsui: The Yankees have a Matsui, we should get one too! This was the height of the Japanese obsession where the Mets would sign Shinjo and “The Japanese Greg Maddux” rather than get the real guys.

Speaking of the Japanese Greg Maddux, I always enjoy this quote:

“Satoru really throws four pitches,” Mets assistant general manager Omar Minaya said. “He has a fastball, curve, change and cutter and has command of all of them. Satoru is an experienced pitcher who will be able to help our staff in a variety of different ways.”

Bobby Bonilla. We’ve covered this many times. Great with Bonds, horrible with Mets. One of the most hated Mets of all time, so what do the Mets do? They bring him back for a second time so we can boo him more. He didn’t make it to the final game at Shea. Bobby may be on the payroll for years after my death. Wow.

Joe Foy. You don’t know who he is. He’s the Bobby Bonilla of 1970. You kids won’t believe it now but the Mets could never find a good third-baseman, so they traded for one. He hit .236. The player they gave up was Amos Otis who played until 1984 and went to the playoffs numerous times for the Royals. Foy was done after 1971.

Roberto Alomar. A hall of famer except for those pesky years in Flushing. It was plausible that he was going to be the greatest second baseman of all-time. He hit .336 with 20 and 100 in the pre-steroids 2001. In 2002 he joins the Mets and .266 with 11 home runs. Robby fell so far he wond up on the Long Island Ducks before making the Hall of Fame.

We’re just getting started…more turkeys tomorrow

Any more suggestions? Hit me: [email protected]