The M-Files Issue 1: Batman, Star Trek, Walking Dead

The M-Files is a weekly divergence from talking about the Mets.  Even The Mets Police have a life outside of The Mets.  These are the sort of things we talk about.

Welcome to….the M-Files, a new once a week Saturday morning diversion from the Mets. One post a week non-Mets.

I asked on twitter if y’all would mind if I took one column a week to scratch and itch and throw some other random stuff out there having little to nothing to do with the Mets. Folks didn’t seem to mind, and Saturday morning seems like a nice time to relax and talk about other things…so let’s give this a whirl. Maybe this will be the greatest thing ever or maybe I will get sick of this in three weeks.

Let’s start with Batman. I’m all jazzed to watch Dark Knight tonight. I bought the trilogy on Blu-Ray ($27.96 on Amazon by the way) and can’t wait. You guys can beat me up but I was choked up at the end when I saw it in the theater. No it’s not as good as the Joker one but it really ended on a perfect note. Plus Anne Hathaway, come on.

But why I really bring up Batman is two reasons. First is the TV Show I want to make called Bruce Wayne.

Bruce Wayne is the story of a millionaire who runs a company (Wayne Enterprises). Most of the plots are centered around office politics. Kind of like the parts of L.A. Law that weren’t in the court room. Too old a reference? Um…kinda like the parts of Mad Men that aren’t about advertising. Or maybe completely like Mad Men. Yeah Mad Men but Bruce Wayne.

Bruce goes to work, has ideas, deals with idiots.

He goes home where he has a ward, Richie Grayson. Rich is an orphan he took in. We don’t spend much time with him.

Bruce also has an Aunt Harriet who sort of dawdles around.

Alfred the Butler is a character we spend more time with. He’s a butler.

Bruce has personal problems. He dates lots of women. He’s moody. Seems like he might be an alcoholic or something. He’s very guarded. Think Don Draper.

Sometimes when the family is sitting around eating dinner Alfred will interrupt and tell Mr. Wayne he has a phone call. Bruce excuses himself and goes into another room to take the call. Our show stays at the dinner table.

Sometimes Aunt Harriet mentions all those crazy criminals that she sees on Eyewitness News, like the crazy one that dresses like a clown.

In some of the office scenes we learn that a lot of the staff thinks Bruce is an idiot. After all, he misses half the meetings, and sometimes looks like he’s been up all night. He’s probably on drugs or something.

That’s it. Mad Men but at Wayne Enterprises. I could even see Jon Hamm in my version of the character.

Maybe in the season three finale I will throw you a bone and show you what’s in the basement of Mr. Wayne’s house.

The second reason I bring up Batman is this. I cannot stop watching it.

I kinda like that Catwoman even more than Anne. And Drummer Bane looks like a cool guy. Well done video. I ripped an mp3 and play this in the car every day.

Now the reason that I am watching Dark Knight tonight and last night is because I’m a weirdo. Did you know that Star Trek: The Motion Picture came out on December 7, 1979? No of course you didn’t. Nobody does. Except me.

-Pssst -Goon here, What Shannon didn’t tell you about the Batman Maybe video is that the song gets stuck in your head. Just when one of us forgets about it the other one tweets or emails the other with it and boom back in your head.

Every December 7th I watch the movie. Every year. (I also watch Wrath of Khan on June 4th). Sometimes the original cut, sometimes the DVD, sometimes the Blu-Ray (from the really nice set), sometimes the Directors Cut which is my favorite because they made the sounds on the bridge sound more like TOS.

I think Shatner is fantastic in the film. He does a really good job of his Kirk being clueless that he’s in the way. I know people hate on this movie but I love it. I can also do the first half hour off the top of my head. Scary.

But since you’re all like 24 years old let’s talk about the new trailer.

I included the Japanese version because it’s a longer cut and has the Khan homage at the end.

So who do you think the new villain is? @mediagoon and @dtwohig spent a lot of time on this trailer on Thursday. I have no theories.

Next, we have to talk about The Walking Dead mid-season finale.

They gotta stop with the One Black Guy thing. Really, they killed Oscar (who seemed cool) as soon as they showed Tyrese? That’s nutty especially after the T-Dog/Oscar swap.

I dig the Governor and defend Andrea. If you’re Andrea, going into that episode, all you know about the governor is that he’s a nice enough looking guy (I guess, I am a heterosexual man) who seems charming, runs a town, has a nice clean bed (you haven’t hooked up in over a year) and he has alcohol.

If you’ve been chased by zombies for a year and someone nice looking offers you booze and a bed…might be tempting.

Yeah he’s a little weird but aren’t we all.

I’m not sure how she will react to the Zombiequarium.

Final thoughts on Zombies…on Sundays I have been tweeting my mythical storylines for TheZLine. I imagine TheZLine being a successful t-shirt entrepreneur in Woodbury. He shows up at gladiator matches with signs like “Don’t Trade Merle” and gets under the skin of the governor. This idea cracks me up.

So that got me thinking we should make Zombie/Mets mash-up shirts…my first idea being DON’T BITE WRIG(blood drips). Whatcha think?


Finally – Red Zone. Man I love Red Zone. It is the greatest thing ever and I’m stunned Goodell hasn’t jacked the price up to at least $63 yet.

Every game but just the action. No punts. No time outs. No commercials. Almost no Jets. It’s truly fantastic.

One problem. The NFL sucks at scheduling.

This week there are 10 games at 1 o’clock and only three at 4. This happens every week.

The Ones are an ADD Fest. Nonstop action. Quad box. Endless football. Wives trying to “talk” and fights breaking out.

Then 4:30 comes. We get crap like some combination of Cardinals-Raiders-Seahawks-Chargers all the other teams nobody likes. And usually the Cowboys.

Then the Cowboys game sucks the Cards-Seahawks suck so we just stare at Eli Manning drives, DEFEATING THE POINT OF HAVING RED ZONE!

I complain to @nflcommish every week around 5:30 but he hasn’t tweeted back yet. I don’t think we are going to be bros like me and Dave Howard.

That’s it for Issue #1 of The M-FIles. Thanks for indulging my diversion, and I’ll be working @mediagoon into some of my ramblings. Let me know what you think.

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18 Replies to “The M-Files Issue 1: Batman, Star Trek, Walking Dead”

  1. Extremely enjoyable but you must put a disclaimer so people know that the song will be stuck in your head. Keith was spot on there. Fun read. Thanks for posting!

  2. You’ve probably heard this already (if so, I missed it because I very rarely tweet outside of Mets games), but my money is on the Star Trek enemy being the dude who gained god-like powers in the first episode of TOS (the first “real episode,” not the pilot that was later edited into the “Glass Menagerie”). The destruction in the clip seems rather supernatural, and the blonde screaming :42 in is a clone of the lady in that ep who gained similar powers but saved the day instead of going all baddie.

      1. Yup; “Where No Man…” was the pilot but was not broadcast until after “The Man Trap” and The Corbomite Maneuver.”

          1. Yeah, and here I thought I thought I was going to come off as the nerdy one. LOL

            I was big into TOS when I was a teenager (if this conversation were taking place 25 years ago, I wouldn’t need to be corrected so much). One of the local TV stations ran 2 episodes overnight each day, and my h.s. library had a nice book collection stashed in the back room. I never really got into TNG or all that followed. Heck, I probably haven’t even seen half of the movies they’ve put out at this point.

          2. DS9 was the best. Check it out on Netflix. If you lack patience, start with the last episode of season 2, “The Jem’Hadar.”

          1. Don’t know. Maybe NBC wanted to show the regular cast, esp. DeForest Kelley, in the first couple of shows that aired. Kelley and Nichelle Nichols weren’t in “WNMHGB.” Neither was Grace Lee Whitney, who was a semi-regular that first year. Walter Koenig joined the cast in the 2nd season.

          2. NBC thought that WNMHGB was a bit too “high brow” of a concept for a first episode. They wanted something with a more “traditional” sci-fi monster, hence the salt creature in Man Trap

    1. That’s “The Menagerie.” “The Glass Menagerie” is a Tennessee Williams play.

      The blonde you’re thinking of is Dr. Elizabeth Dehner, played by Sally Kellerman, who was the original “Hotlips” Houlihan in the film M*A*S*H.

  3. That’s Orson Welles narrating the Star Trek trailer. Robert Wise was Welles’ editor on Citizen Kane.

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