Hey who doesn’t like talking about Mets t-shirts. Let’s take a look at the 2016 offerings, shall we?
“Hey can this say NATIONAL league champions?”
“We’d have to shrink the font.”
“Wouldn’t National take up almost the same space as New York Mets? The NY kinda tells us that we’re the…never mind, who cares. Next.”
OK Mets calm the F**k down with this shirt. Seriously calm the F*ck down. Let’s accomplish something before we start doing this.
“Aren’t we giving away jerseys?”
“No, that’s Piazza.”
“Are you sure?”
“No not really, but t-shirts are cheaper.”
“Cool, let’s do it!”
“You know that pain in the ass blogger is just going to mock all these shirts”
“Yeah, I hate that guy.”
“WAIT, I have a great idea that will really frost his flakes!”
Eff you Free Shirt Friday designer who threw in Walker. That’s totally trolling me. Why him?
Matt’s gonna be pissed when he finds out about this!
“Hey you forgot to make a design for July 8th.”
“I did?”
“Yeah.”
“But it’s 5 o’clock on a Friday, let’s just slap an NY on a shirt and hit the bar.”
“I thought we did this already?”
“No. That was a 1986 thing.”
“Oh. Aren’t we giving away Piazza jerseys?”
“I think so. I can’t remember.”
“Well who will want a t-shirt over a jersey?”
“These guys like anything Piazza. Don’t worry, trust me, we’ll sell out. These bananas go to San Diego for a t-shirt, they’ll come out on a Friday in July. Just make it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Closer? In August? What if he sucks?”
“Wanna do Matt?”
“mmmm…Nah, whatever just make that. What is it anyway?”
“You sure about this? After the trade deadline?”
“Yeah, he’s our biggest star.”
“With a one year deal. What if Sandy deals him? That would be mighty embarrassing.”
“We’re going to the World Series, dude, what do you think this is, 1987?”
“You know Duda is only signed through the end of the year, right? What if he sucks or they trade him or they look at whatever that prospect kid’s name is at 1B. This could be embarrassing.”
“Stop worrying. Nothing ever goes wrong in Queens. He’ll be having a monster year and everyone will come out for this one.”
“You’re not even trying.”
“Look we’ll either be in first place, in which case the t-shirt won’t matter, or we’ll be out of it and no t-shirt is getting anyone in Citi Field on a Friday in September. We’ll make like 5,000 of them so we don’t get stuck.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Mike Piazza.”
“You did that already.”
“Catchers. Like back at Shea.”
“Darren did that better.”
“Should I call him?”
“Nah, play dumb. Never heard of the guy. Catcher smatcher, I’m done, hand in the homework to Jeff and we can worry about this crap Monday.”
