The Mets Police

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY

Steve bursts into Jerry’s apartment, his face alive with excitement.

STEVE: Hey, guess what? The Mets took two out of three from Atlanta! The Mets are back, baby!

Jerry glances up from his newspaper, raising an eyebrow at Steve’s enthusiasm.

JERRY: Ah, the rollercoaster of Mets fandom.  Say, how’s it going with Dwight Gooden Day?

Steve’s expression shifts from jubilation to a more somber tone as he slumps into a nearby chair.

STEVE: (sighing) Why’d you have to bring that up, Jerry? It’s not going well. Lots of tickets left.

JERRY: (teasing) Did you go on Twitter to hawk tickets?

STEVE: (defensive) Yes, Jerry, I went on Twitter. Twice.

JERRY: (smirking) Well, good thing they won. You only go on twitter when they win.

STEVE: (disputing) That’s not true.

Elaine, who has been scrolling through her phone, chimes in with a mischievous grin.

ELAINE: Actually, Jerry’s right. You only come on when the team wins.  You talk about wins and you try to sell tickets.  You never come on after a loss.

JERRY:  She’s right ya know. You do tend to disappear when the going gets rough. Like week one when the Mets lost 5 in a row to start the season.  Nothing.  Mets take two of three, Stevie Boy’s phone starts working again.

Steve’s face falls, realizing his social media habits have been exposed. He tries to save face, but it’s clear he’s been caught out.

STEVE: (sheepishly) Well, you know, it’s all about timing. Can’t blame a guy for wanting to capitalize on the good moments, right?

JERRY: (chuckling) Well, look, if you’re waiting for something good to happen with the Mets, you’re gonna be waiting a long time. I’ve been waiting since 1986.

Steve lets out a nervous chuckle, knowing all too well the ups and downs of being a Mets fan.

STEVE: Yeah, tell me about it.

The issue here is that the Wilpons Mets dropped the ball on all this stuff.  Gooden’s number shoudl have been retired, I dunno, in 2005 or so.  And Keith, And Gary (still not done, because you can’t drive an event around a ghost), and the others.  But hey they waited until Seaver died to put up a statue.

Steve has done the right thing playing catch-up, but baseball is dead now (even if the baseball mafia won’t admit it).  Nobody cares.  The people, like me, who grew up on this stuff have gray hair now and can’t be bothered to spend all that money and watch boring 21st century baseball.  The younger folks are running polls asking if deGrom was better than Gooden, which is just absurd (even if someone who should know better as he was around in the 80s floated that a few years back).  The younglings don’t know how exciting Gooden was, and they will never understand it.  So they don’t want to attend this either.

So let’s take a look at social media and the ticket websites which makes me think they are heading for an underwhelming event.

UPDATE: It was brought to my attention that Gooden Day is Sunday not Saturday.  Here are seat availabilities as of 3:12pm on 4/10

The Mets shared a teaser for the City Connect jerseys.  Note the use of the Queensboro Bridge and the purple NY.

For years I have been goofing that the Mets City Connect jersey will be awful, joking that they will probably lean in on the Queens part and go with a subway graffiti font.

Well look at the purple.  That’s a 7 train purple.  (Maybe they just want to sell 850 of these to t-shirt enthusiasts)

And what do we think of when we think of subways in Queens?

GRAFFITTI.

Are these maniacs going to hang in purple jerseys (which MIGHT be ok) but with QUEENS in graffiti font?  Oof.

Something like this wouldn’t be atrocious (again here at Mets Police we think they should just wear the 2012 set forever.)

And don’t forget the Queens Kings already did purple/Queens motif…

So none of that is AWFUL, it’s not great but it’s not awful…..but what if we add GRAFFITI FONT

I can’t get the AI to generate graffiti font on a jersey but use your imagination.

I also don’t think this post below is crazy, as one of the reasons for the change in the black jersey was to match the black cap which was to match the city connect jersey.  So maybe something like this isn’t off the mark….

Another clue might be the white lettering in this teaser…let’s look again

That could be some legally distinct “Subway” font.

I don’t think MLB/Mets/Fanatics/Nike/The Communist Government would spend the money to have “subway circle” custom numbers for everyone.

Also, the more I think about it, maybe Graffiti Font is hard to execute on a jersey?  Easier to do individual block style letters?

I’m also not sure anyone looks at Subway Font and thinks…cool.  I think it would wind up looking something like this, but purple

AI won’t generate it for me, but the end goal would be QUEENS in white helvitica (or legally distinct similar) font

The MTA sells these…not sure that white subway font is all that exciting.

I think the Mets should wear this on Friday night.

What if the Mets had something like this, but in jersey.  By the way this is a $73 shirt.

Or how about this prototype?