Mets Police guide to Citi Field for Yankees fans

Hello Mr. Yankee Fan,

You will be a guest in Citi Field this weekend, so let me welcome you to the home of my favorite team.

Here are some tips so that you can maximize your enjoyment.

Where to meet: Look for a big red Apple.   Apple is Flushingese for “the bat.”  Tell your “boys” to meet you at the Apple.

What to wear: I understand that you want to wear your Yankees gear, and you should.  Be proud of your team,  However, if you wear a Jeter 2 shirt you had better be a hot chick.  If you wear a Chamberlain 62 jersey with a name on the back we will all know you’re a fraud.  No names on the back, of course.

Where to go first: as soon as you enter the Jackie Robinson Rotunda (um, it’s a little hard to explain why that’s there) head to your right and visit the Mets Hall of Fame and Museum.   There you can find memorabilia from Casey Stengel, Lee Mazzilli and other Yankee heroes….maybe even Yogi, I can’t remember.

Then what? Take the escalator up to what you would call “the main” level.  Head left and make your way to the fun centerfield area.   Take in the views and be impressed that the Mets didn’t stick a big restaurant in center field.  You can actually see the left fielder and the right fielder.  In Flushing, we save our obstructed views for the “upper deck.”

In center field you will fins a dunk tank.   Mets fans will be lined up to dunk a cute girl in a Yankee jersey.   It’s fun.  Try it.

What to eat ?  You may have heard of the Shake Shack.  It’s quite good but the line is longer than long.  Take my advice and enjoy the taqueria.  Short line, decent bang for your buck.

Have one beer. Hit Big Apple Brews and enjoy one beer.  One beer is nice at a game.  Beyond that you run the risk of increased hooliganism.  Since I always encourage folks to support the Mets financially please be sure to spend the rest of your beer money on other items.

How are your seats? If you’re in the “main” level as you call it you’ll be fine.  If you head to “the uppers” and your seat is in one of the first three rows….I wish you well.

Bring a radio and listen to WFAN. Treat yourself to hearing a Yankee game be actually described on a radio.   Our main guy Howie Rose will tell you what is happening in the game.  When a fly ball approaches the fence he will provide a detailed account of the play.   Howie is wonderful.   He is joined by a nice man named Wayne.  It may disturb you to learn that Howie actually acknowledges Wayne’s presence and will even respond to what Wayne says.

How to cheer. Like I said, be proud of your team.  If something happens that pleases you, stand-up, yell “hooray”, high-five your “boys” and sit down.

We know the Mets suck. Believe me we know.  We understand that the Mets won’t pass the Yankees in championships until 2037.  There’s no need to remind us.

We are honoring the 2000 Mets. Yep, I know Jeter will be there with his 2000 ring.   Mets fans will be cheering for Mike Piazza.  You may remember Mike, one of your true Yankees tried to attack him with a bat,  Said true Yankee was 192-111 with Boston in the course of 13 seasons, but I don’t want to bring that up and upset the girl who does your radiocast, she could start crying.

Your pitcher will have to bat. The Mets play something called baseball, a game in which 9 players bat and field.  You probably have some dude who isn’t good at that second thing.  He gets to watch this weekend.  However, this will provide you with a convenient excuse on Monday, so embrace it.

6 Replies to “Mets Police guide to Citi Field for Yankees fans”

  1. ” It may disturb you to learn that Howie actually acknowledges Wayne’s presence and will even respond to what Wayne says.”


    ” You probably have some dude who isn’t good at that second thing. He gets to watch this weekend. ”

    He was going to watch anyway. He’s on the DL. 😉

  2. agreed with ceetar! LOVED the part about the radio announcers. it’s so true. my best friend is a yankees fan and he constantly is calling me saying these exact words: “i wish we had howie, gary, keith and ron.”

  3. In regard to Yankees having 25 more world championship than Mets, must remember that the Yanks are 59 years older than Mets. Lets say Mets got a new “insane” owner who wants a $300M payroll……Mets could win 15 WS out of the next 20 years.

    And time to let the Jackie Robinson thing be what it is. A great man that played in NL for a NY team before Mets existed. He played not too far from CitiField and is buried not to far either and a major road near the stadium is named for him. Sure in the rotuna I like to see highlights of Mets being played on the film loop along with Jackie stuff and like to see somewhere engraved above, “Home of the New York Metropolitan Baseball Club” but its time to drop its a “Dodger” thing. Its about a man, baseball, National League and New York

  4. I haven’t been to Citi (I an ex-pat NYer), and my last visit to Shea was 2006 during the playoffs (I did see them lose to the Rockies this year). This post makes me long to visit it. Someday….

    I was at the 2000 World Series game when Jeter hit the first frikkin pitch of the game out of the park. Shea was as silent as a tomb that night. Never truly hated the Yankees til then. But have ever since.

  5. guys the mets will never be as good as the yankees . even thou the yankees spend more money than the mets that does not mean you will win also the yankees spend their money better and run a better organization all around and to top it off they don’t steal peoples land for their own money hungry visions of what they want and steal it with the help of wilpons billionaire friends & politicans with open hands . the curse of the mets will continue as long as wilpons willets point aspirations continue face the facts

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