Mets reportedly sign nearly 35 year old second baseman Jed Lowrie to 2 years-20 million and you’ll never guess who used to be his Agent

As of 7:37pm the Mets had not sent me a press release about a player acquisition (SHOCKER) so I had to write my own.  Again.  And obviously they never send me images.


FLUSHING, N.Y., January 10, 2019 – The New York Mets today may have announced that the club has signed infielder Jed Lowrie to a two year major league contract for twenty million dollars (ten per year.) That’s what the internet is saying, even if the Mets aren’t.  Let’s assume it’s true.

Lowrie, 34, surprisingly, is good at baseball.   Like actually good at it.  In 2018 he batted .267 with 23 HR and 99 RBI which translates to 15 HR power in Citi Field.  Oh and he will be 35 on Opening Day.  And you’ll never believe who used to be his agent.

Wait, I thought this was a press release.  We’re off on a tangent.

Lowrie played 136 games at second base in 2018 and…..wait, didn’t we just sell the farm for Robinson Cano?   What is even going on here?

Anyway, Lowire plays second base giving the Mets great depth at second base where Cano, Lowrie and McNeil can all play, to go along with the two closers.  Sure there’s no third OFer and nobody to play first base (I know, I know, the kid that has yet to play an inning in the majors will win the MVP and the Wilpons are totally not going to start him in AAA to start his clock so they can pay him a full year earlier down the road…right…got it…)

Back to the press release

Lowrie has played in parts of eleven seasons with the Red Sox, A’s and Astros and oh yeah will be 35 and plays second base.  He also plays third…let’s get a quick reaction from Lyin’ Todd. Frazier…

Yeah Todd….yeah…..

To be fair to Wags, I have been jumping up and down about legitimate ML Depth, which this surely is……so I like the move….but I also think the Wilpons are being conned.  Both can be true sometimes.  But hey, despite all my conspiracies, this is someone you can play every day if you have to….so it’s a good thing.  Real teams have guys like this.  Good job Wags, even if you’re running a long con here.   Your former and future employer will be pleased with their commission.