Cohen Era Mets acquire World Series Champion Jake Marisnick!

The Cohen Era Mets are not messing around.  Sure this time yesterday the Wilpon Era was letting one of the Five Aces walk to a division rival, but here under Steve Cohen’s Leadership the Mets have proved once again they are not messing around.

Wags, with a proven track record of knowing who in the Astros system would be great acquisitions, has traded someone (who cares who) for World Series Champion Jake Marisnick!

Marisnick is good for an annual WAR between 1 and 2 which should excite you millennials.  Us old guys are excited about last years .233 with 10HRs….but now that Vulgar Pete has proven Citi Field to be a hitter’s paradise, and seeing what Wags did with JD Davis, I assume Marisnick is good for 30 or 40 Home Runs!

Now if you’re one of those weirdos who is like “who the hell is Jake Marisnick?” – dude he’s played in the majors for 7 seasons and was in the World Series in 2017 and 2019.  Baseball is well marketed, this guy is like a household name.  He has 384 career hits!  His career OPS is .660!

Marisnick plays Center Field so now that’s solved.  He was a member of the 2017 World Champion Astros, so probably knows Inexperienced Carlos Beltran and can potentially help the Mets steal signs at an elite level.

Welcome Jake, and thank you Steve Cohen for turning this franchise into a serious team making serious moves.  Maybe the team is far worse than it was yesterday morning, but it is better than it was yesterday afternoon.

We’ll let Media Goon know what number Marisnick is assigned as soon as we find out so that MG can buy a jersey.  I can tell MG that it won’t be Jake’s traditional 6.  That number is in use in Queens.

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