Matt Harvey pitched against the Yankees. How did he do? You’ll look!

Happy Harvey Day everyone.  This is an extra special game for Matt because he LOVES the New York Yankees.  He has even been known to skip his own team’s game to go watch the Yankees play, and tonight he was able to watch Yankees batters from just 60 feet 6 inches away.

I think we all know Matt enjoys a good drink, and here he is before the game showing us he knows the importance of proper hydration.

And let’s take a look at his numbers so far this season.

In the first….Matt strikes out the first batter.  Sit down son!

Then he walks Stanton. UH OH. Here comes the Judge.  But….. I had to work until 8 so you’re gonna have to take it on faith that Judge hit into a DP, and we all know how much Matt likes a good DP so he’s out of the first.

In the second…a strikeout, then a single and a walk.  Uh oh, will Matt melt down?

Normally I’d have some fun shots here but the “rabbit ears” (cough) aren’t pulling in the Bat Signal for me tonight, so you will have to take my word for it that he probably looked like this…

Matt looks slimmer in the white uniform top, doesn’t he?

Anyway TDK gets an F9 and then strikes out Sanchez and gets out of it.

In the third,  a 1-2-3 including a strikeout of Stanton.

In the 4th, 1-2-3 again and TDK is cruising.

And in the 5th….TDK is rolling and looking quite confident, and now I have a “signal” (cough)

We know Matt likes to go out cruising, and he is cruising in the 5th inning with a one hitter!  Wow!

Let’s go to the 6th and be sure to get a screen grab, because we rarely see Matt Harvey in the 6th inning!  This is what it looks like!  Save this kids, you may  never see it again.

I’m finally watching live (in real time) and Matt can feel the pressure and he walks the leadoff hitter.  Uh oh!  He knows I am watching.

But have no fear, it’s Matt’s favorite thing in the whole world…..

It’s a timely DP!!!!

Now you’re probably like – hey man this post isn’t flowing the way it normally does, these jokes suck.   Well the answer is TELL MY WIFE TO STOP TALKING TO ME.    YOU GUYS WANT ME TO TELL HER TO STOP TALKING TO ME SO I CAN DO A MATT HARVEY RECAP POST?  ARE YOU MARRIED? THAT WOULD BE THE STUPIDEST FIGHT EVER.  

So I blankly stare at her and she talks about something and finally goes away.

So it’s back to the game and oh no, Stanton doubles….

And HERE COMES THE JUDGE…who hits ANOTHER double, and the runner scores.


Matt is not pleased with himself.

And now not only is this post flowing now that  my wife has stopped talking, here is a man in a mask who wants to give Matt some Helpful Tips!

And here is the look of a man who is afraid his whole night will collapse…

But it does NOT and Matt is out of the inning and out of the game.

The Orioles wise up and don’t send Matt out there for the 7th.  Never push your luck with Matty Baseball.  6 is fine.

The line – 6 runs, 1 run (earned), 3 hits, 3 walks, and 5 strikeouts.  His ERA drops to 4.26 and he is in line for the win if the O’s can hang on, but baseball is boring so I will just update the post in the morning.

Even the biggest Harvey Hater, which is me, has to admit he pitched well.  Now it’s back to the apartment for a quiet night of reflection.

I believe Matt is on-turn to pitch AT CITI FIELD in a few weeks.  That should be fun.

And in case you’re wondering what I root for in a Matt Harvey vs Pete Alonso at bat I will tell you.  It looks like this.


Matt didn’t declare himself The Next Seaver, that was you idiots.  Pete is Vulgar all on his own.

So not my best work, but the lack of a Bat-Signal and a chatty wife killed me.

Harvey Days will return!  Same Bat Blog, Same Bat Something Joke!

Will Matt be sad that his Yankees lost?


UPDATE: Matt Harvey got the win to go to 2 and 1.  He is slowly closing in on Seaver!