The Orioles are committed to losing 110 games, and what better way to accomplish that than by keeping Matt Harvey in the rotation. The Orioles cost-cutting did send Gary Thorne packing (he now makes people in New York realize just how overrated Gary Cohen is – you could surround ME with Keith and Ron and it would be fine) – anyway with Thorne gone we now have 16 year old Skippy Peanutbutter on the play by play.
Royals fans are happy to see Matty Baseball back in town because they now get to hit off him….let’s check the numbers and you can’t even see the netting.
Matt gets the Royals out 1-2-3 and looks right into the camera to tell me “Look, you dumb fat blogger…you are not making fun of ME today.”
Look Matt, we all know you can pitch a clean inning. I am not impressed. On to the second where it’s a 1-2-3-4 for Matt with a harmless two out single and now it’s the 3rd and Matt has a two run lead!
Matt throws another 1-2-3 in the 3rd…and hey, maybe Jenny the Waitress is free after the game and wants to meet up.
Well on to the 4th, surely Matt is about to turn into a pumpkin.
The umpire visits Matt and is like “You are obviously cheating, right?” and Matt says “I used to be pretty good” and the umpire says that was 6 years ago but ok play on.
With one out….Matt hits this Salvy person. Maybe Matt suddenly loss his touch, who knows?
Then Matt gives up a single! The Orioles have finally learned about Matt’s meltdowns! A man in an Orioles t-shirt (uniform violation!) comes out and is like “Seriously bro? Every flipping time? You know the blogger’s gonna make fun of you if you don’t figure this out. Man up.”
An out and then an infield single….as Fran Healey would say BAY SIS LOW DID
But the Royals ground out and Matt gives them the choke sign.
The 5th is a 1-2-3-4 and Brandon Hyde pushes his luck and sends Matt out for the 6th,
But I was at the beach all day and wanna wrap this post up…it’s a 1-2-3 in the 6th and THE DARK KNIGHT IS BACK BABY!
6 scoreless innings of three hit baseball! A walk, two strikeouts, and NO meltdown grand slams! For The Real Deal, a win!
When do the Mets trade Alonso and Nido for Matt?
“It seems like every outing, there’s a stretch like there was today,” Harvey said. “I think there were some innings I’d go out and be dominant and throw two, three innings of really good baseball and then all of a sudden the wheels fall off. Having games like today, obviously, is a big confidence booster knowing that it’s still in there.” (via the Baltimore Sun)