The Mets Museum is….gone.

Presumably this is so the store could be bigger?   Who knows what Mets owners Steve and Alex Cohen are even thinking this off-season.  Every decision seems to be awful.

Please tell me they didn’t ruin the museum.

This looks kinda afterthought to me.  “Where can we stick them?”

 

PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDNT RUIN THE MUSEUM TO HAVE A BIGGER STORE

DON’T TELL ME THEY DESTROYED THE MUSEUM

THEY DESTROYED THE MUSEUM!!!!!

 

The Interpreter

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY

Steve is standing triumphantly in Jerry’s apartment, taking advantage of a rare opportunity to boast about his decision-making skills, especially in light of recent events in the baseball world.

STEVE: (proudly) See, Jerry? I’m the smart one now. Did you see that Ohtani betting scandal? Dodged a bullet there.

JERRY: (nodding reluctantly) Yeah, maybe you were right not to call. And what about Yamamoto?

STEVE: (smirking) Gave up five runs in one inning. Tell me I don’t know how to run a baseball team.

As they’re discussing, Kramer bursts into the apartment, sporting a Dodgers cap, which immediately draws puzzled looks from both Steve and Jerry.

JERRY: (confused) Kramer, why are you wearing a Dodgers cap?

KRAMER: (beaming) Because, my friends, I am Ohtani’s new interpreter!

STEVE: (disbelieving) But you don’t speak Japanese.

Kramer responds with a surprisingly fluent sentence in Japanese, leaving Jerry and Steve momentarily speechless.

KRAMER: (proudly) Picked it up from watching sumo wrestling on TV. It’s all about immersion, my friends.

JERRY: (sarcastically) Right, because sumo wrestling and baseball have so much in common.

STEVE: (still skeptical) This I’ve got to see. How do you plan on interpreting if you only picked up a bit from TV?

KRAMER: (waving off the concern Language is about feeling, about emotion. I’m not just translating words; I’m translating the soul of baseball.

JERRY: (teasing) Well, let’s hope Ohtani’s soul doesn’t get sent to prison

Scene: Press conference room. Shohei Ohtani is at the podium with Kramer standing next to him as his interpreter. Reporters are gathered, murmuring.

Reporter 1: Ohtani-san, what do you have to say about the allegations of your involvement in the betting scandal?

Ohtani: 私はこの問題には一切関与していません。疑惑は全くの事実無根です。 (I am not at all involved in this issue. The allegations are completely unfounded.)

Kramer: Uhh, he says… he was betting, but just small amounts! You know, to make the games more interesting. No big deal.

[Reporters gasp and scribble furiously. Ohtani looks confused and alarmed.]

Reporter 2: Did you ever place bets through unofficial channels or bookies?

[Ohtani replies in Japanese, shaking his head.] Ohtani: いいえ、私は一度も賭博行為には手を染めたことはありません。 (No, I have never once engaged in any gambling activities.)

Kramer: He’s saying, yes, he placed a few bets through this guy Vinny. But Vinny’s a stand-up guy, real professional!

[Uproar from the reporters. Ohtani tries to interject but Kramer keeps talking.]

Kramer: Ohtani’s not too worried though. I mean, who doesn’t bet a little on the side, am I right? Keeps things exciting!

[Kramer chuckles and playfully elbows Ohtani. Ohtani looks horrified. Reporters start shouting questions. Ohtani grabs the mic.]

Ohtani: (in English) No no, that not what I said! I never bet, never!

[Ohtani glares at Kramer. Kramer shrugs sheepishly.]

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY

Jerry, Elaine, and Steve are gathered in front of the TV, watching the aftermath of Kramer’s bizarre foray into baseball “interpretation.” As they absorb the spectacle, Steve’s recent offseason moves—or lack thereof—suddenly seem less disastrous in comparison.

STEVE: (pondering) Do you think anyone’s actually buying this?

JERRY: (dryly) If by “buying,” you mean wondering if this is some sort of avant-garde performance art, then yes.

ELAINE: (teasing Steve) Hey, compared to this, your offseason doesn’t look so bad. Maybe missing out on some of those free agents was a stroke of genius.

STEVE: (half-smiling) Yeah, who knew Kramer’s antics could put my decisions in a better light?

JERRY: (laughing) You know, if baseball has a betting scandal, you’re never going to get that casino you’ve been dreaming about.

STEVE: (sighing) One crisis at a time, Jerry.

On the TV, Kramer, still at the press conference, has now begun using baseball metaphors to explain unrelated topics, further confusing everyone but doing so with his characteristic enthusiasm.

JERRY: (quipping) At least he’s sticking to baseball. He could be giving out your trade secrets next.

ELAINE: (laughing) What secrets? How to not pick up the phone?

STEVE: (reluctantly amused) Well, I guess there’s a silver lining here. At least people are talking about something other than our offseason moves.

 

Report: Mets have laid off about 25 members of its business operations staff

Front Office Sports reports the Mets have

… laid off about 25 members of its business operations staff Tuesday, sources confirmed to Front Office Sports.

The personnel moves mark the latest in an extended series of dramatic events for the team in the last eight months as Steve Cohen (above) has poured unprecedented resources into the franchise, but he has yet to see the full returns of that expenditure and ambition.

The layoffs are not a direct result of New York’s 75–87 finish in 2023 that was far below the World Series expectations of many pundits, were not dictated by Cohen, and do not extend to baseball operations. Rather, the moves were led by M. Scott Havens, the Mets’ new head of business operations, who, after arriving in January, conducted an extensive review of the team’s staff and then made the cuts. The layoffs represent a single-digit percentage of the Mets’ overall business-side personnel.

“Over the last several years, many of our departments have grown well beyond sustainable levels, and larger than our peer group with Major League Baseball,” Havens said in a staff memo obtained by FOS. “While I understand this type of change is difficult and impacts all of us, these decisions were a necessary step in helping us evolve as an organization, and more importantly, to set us up for long-term growth and success.” (Via Front Office Sports)

Oh, just one more thing.  If the Wilpons didn’t sign Ohtani, laid off 25 people, were clearly rebuilding but not admitting it, and were mainly focused on building a casino on parkland, how would that go over?

Also, don’t solely blame Steve here.  Most press release refer to Mets owners Steve & Alex Cohen, so she’s on the clock too.

The Fifth Year

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY

Steve is sitting despondently on the edge of Jerry’s couch, fretting about his unfulfilled World Series promise. Jerry, watches him with a mixture of concern and amusement.

STEVE: (sighing) I promised the fans a championship within three to five years. And now, it’s looking more and more like a pipe dream.

JERRY: (trying to lighten the mood) Well, if you’re out of options, you could always start retiring more numbers.  How about somebody from the 1982 Mets? Nobody ever talks about those guys.

Steve gives Jerry a look that’s half exasperated, half amused.

STEVE: (smirking) Yeah, because what the fans really want is to celebrate mediocrity.

JERRY: isn’t celebrating mediocrity your entire marketing plan for 2024?

STEVE (looks mad) Funny.

JERRY: (poking fun) Hey, every player has their day. Why not give them a retirement ceremony? It could be ‘Obscure Mets Day’ at Citi Field.

STEVE: (shaking his head) That’s your solution? Parties for the forgotten heroes of ’82?

JERRY: (more seriously) Well, it’s better than some of your other ideas. Speaking of which, why did you hire that guy from Milwaukee? It’s not like they’ve won anything.

STEVE: (defending his decision) He came highly recommended! I thought he could bring some fresh ideas to the table!

JERRY: (not letting up) And whose bright idea was it to get rid of Buck Showalter? The guy almost gets us to the promised land, and you give him the boot?

STEVE: (sighing) It was a tough call, Jerry. We’re trying to build something new here, shake things up a bit.

JERRY: (dryly) Well, you’re definitely shaking things up.

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – CONTINUING

As Steve and Jerry debate the merits of their management choices and ways to engage fans, Kramer bursts into the apartment with his usual flair and excitement.

KRAMER: (excitedly) Guess who I just ran into on the street. Ron Gardenhire!

JERRY: (impressed) Gardenhire, huh? Now, he would have been an interesting choice for manager.

STEVE: (thoughtfully) Do you think the fans would be distracted by Ron Gardenhire Night?

JERRY: (jokingly) Well, the man DID hit .240 in 1982. I think it’s a solid idea. Nothing brings in the crowds like a .240 hitter.  Look at Pete Alonso.

KRAMER: (nodding vigorously) I love it! It’s genius. Gardenhire Night!

ELAINE: (joining in) And don’t forget the highlight reel of all his most mediocre plays. It’ll be a hit!

STEVE: (smiling, caught up in the absurdity) Alright, alright. Ron Gardenhire Night it is. If nothing else, it’ll give the fans something to talk about besides our World Series drought.

INT. CITI FIELD – RON GARDENHIRE NIGHT – EVENING

The stadium is abuzz with the excitement of Ron Gardenhire Night.  Jerry,  Kramer and Elaine join Steve and David  in the owners box in anticipation of the event designed to honor the contributions of Ron Gardenhire. However, the evening takes an unexpected turn.

HOWIE: ….please welcome back our old friend, Ron Gardenhire!

(The crowd cheers as a man comes out of the dugout.As the supposed “Ron Gardenhire” takes the stage to deliver his speech, it becomes apparent to the knowledgeable baseball fans in attendance that something is amiss. The man at the microphone bears little resemblance to the Gardenhire they remember.)

JERRY: (squinting at the stage) That doesn’t look like Ron Gardenhire.

ELAINE: (pulling out her phone) Let me look this up.

A quick search confirms their suspicions. Elaine shows Jerry and Steve the image on her phone of the real Ron Gardenhire.

STEVE: (in disbelief) That’s not him! Kramer, what happened?

KRAMER: (rushing over, flustered) That’s not Ron Gardenhire? I ran into him on the street, and he said he was!

JERRY: (dryly) And you just took him at his word? Did you also find Babe Ruth selling hot dogs outside?

The crowd begins to murmur and boo as it becomes clear they’ve been duped. The man, realizing his mistake, tries to salvage the situation with a few generic baseball anecdotes, and throws a ceremonial first pitch but the damage is done.

STEVE: (facepalming) This is a disaster. David, how did we not double-check?

DAVID:  Well, he said he was Ron Gardenhire. I wasn’t even born in 1982.

KRAMER: (sheepishly) He had such great stories! I thought it was a Citi Field miracle!

ELAINE: (trying not to laugh) A miracle? More like a strikeout.

Security is called to gently escort the imposter off the field, as Steve tries to apologize over the PA system, promising refunds and free tickets to future games.

JERRY: (as they watch the scene unfold) Well, Steve, you wanted Gardenhire Night to be unforgettable. Look, at least nobody is talking about how you promised a World Series in three to five years and then backpedaled because you didn’t even try to sign Ohtani.