Mets Police Morning Laziness: let’s all learn more about new Mets owner Steve Cohen, shall we?

I will start with the NOT LINKING – I want to link to the Post where someone named Josh Kosman with one O has an article that actually brings up the real estate portion of this whole Wilpon/Cohen deal.  You know, the whole 126th Street Development thing?  Unfortunately, Mr. Kosman’s article just has a “could” premise and there is no meat there.  Thus I shall not waste your time other than to pass along that the Wilpon/Cohen deal COULD have a real estate portion.  Yes, it COULD.  They also COULD deal me in and make me the General Manager.  I’ll link when there’s an actual story.

But the Post is all about the Mets today.   Here’s a phrase that terrifies me…

“There’s that bad-ass trader element with him,” a person who worked with Cohen said of him, on the condition of anonymity. “He’s still on the job making dough, so why not spend it?” (via article that basically says nothing other than Cohen COULD choose to spend money.)

Oh great, a bad ass trader element.  Great.

Look guys, when I started doing the Wags character a year ago I didn’t think we were gong to get Bobby Axelrod in here too.

Let’s just say…


But not everything is terrible.   There’s this about my man Wags!

A source familiar with the negotiations indicated Thursday that while Van Wagenen wasn’t blindsided by the team’s announcement this week (he previously was informed of the possible sale), he clearly didn’t know about a potential ownership change when he arrived to his new position in October last year.

“Short term, [Van Wagenen] is fine,” the source said. “But I think he’s screwed.” (via NY Post)

So lots of Mets content in the Post today, it might actually be worth the quarter or seven bucks or however much a newspaper costs now.  I haven’t bought one in 10 years.   Is the Daily News still a thing that exists?  I don’t know, but the New York Times sure is and let me make sure you see their headline…

Now I really really really want you to read their article all the way until you get to this part.

“When we let rich malefactors skate free,” he told me, “they take over ball clubs, are feted as philanthropists and even can ascend to the highest position in American government.”

That’s YOU right now.  You’re so excited to get rid of the Wilpons that you aren’t paying attention to who is walking in the door.   Read the article folks.

SLACKISH REACTION:  Thank you newspapers for paying attention, especially you New York Times (to which I DO subscribe digitallybecause they don’t have COULD articles).    Too many Mets fans don’t ever think anything out.  They accept The Narrative and The Group Think.  Sometimes it’s that Mickey Hodges is in town, and sometimes it’s SELL THE TEAM.

Oh and another thing…

“Buying a sports team is [considered] the last great tax shelter out there,” Michael Breit, partner-in-charge of EisnerAmper’s Sports and Entertainment Group, told FOX Business, adding that billionaires are often able to write off the billion-dollar team purchase values over the course of 15 years.

As noted by the IRS, typically 90 percent – sometimes even more – of the assets of a sports franchise are considered intangibles, including player contracts, media rights and the franchise itself.

The value of intangible assets can be lowered through amortization over a period of 15 years per a 2004 law (the American Jobs Creation Act).  via Fox Business


The Mets also made some player moves yesterday.  They are boring moves.  Scroll down the blog to read those.


Cohen Era Mets Make More Moves – sign Jarrett Parker and Max Moroff!

Steve Cohen is not messing around!
Sure the Mets lost of the Five Aces to a division rival yesterday, but clearly Steve Cohen is serious about making the Mets better with all of today’s big moves!
FLUSHING, N.Y., December 5, 2019 – The New York Mets announced today that the club has signed outfielder Jarrett Parker and infielder Max Moroff to minor league contracts with invitations to Major League Spring Training. They join Chasen Shreve who signed a minor league contract with an invite to Major League Spring Training in November.

Parker, 30, has appeared in parts of four major league seasons with the Los Angeles Angels and the San Francisco Giants. The left-handed hitter owns a career .249/.330/.441 slash line with a .771 OPS, 17 doubles, 15 home runs and 51 RBI in 140 games.

The 6-4 outfielder appeared in five games with the Angels in 2019 but spent the majority of the season with Triple-A Salt Lake. Parker hit .266/.394/.535 with a .929 OPS, 71 runs, 19 doubles, 24 home runs, 75 RBI and 72 walks in 96 games with Salt Lake. Overall, in eight minor league seasons, Parker has hit .261/.368/.464 with a .832 OPS, 127 home runs and 445 RBI.

The University of Virginia Cavalier was originally drafted by the San Francisco Giants in the second round (74thoverall) of the 2010 First-Year Player Draft.

Moroff, 26, has appeared in 104 career games over four major league seasons between the Pittsburgh Pirates and Cleveland Indians. He has seven homers and 34 RBI in the majors. He has played second base, third base and shortstop at the major league level.

The 5-11 190-pounder split the 2019 season between the Indians and Triple-A Columbus. Moroff appeared in 22 games in the major leagues last year at second base, shortstop and third base.

The right-handed hitter has compiled a career .251/.358/.382 slash line with a .739 OPS, 384 runs, 127 doubles, 21 triples, 51 homers, 291 RB and 73 stolen bases in 703 minor league games.

Moroff was born in Winter Park, FL and was originally drafted by the Pirates in the 16th round of the 2012 First-Year Player Draft out of Trinity Prep School in Florida.

Cohen Era Mets acquire World Series Champion Jake Marisnick!

The Cohen Era Mets are not messing around.  Sure this time yesterday the Wilpon Era was letting one of the Five Aces walk to a division rival, but here under Steve Cohen’s Leadership the Mets have proved once again they are not messing around.

Wags, with a proven track record of knowing who in the Astros system would be great acquisitions, has traded someone (who cares who) for World Series Champion Jake Marisnick!

Marisnick is good for an annual WAR between 1 and 2 which should excite you millennials.  Us old guys are excited about last years .233 with 10HRs….but now that Vulgar Pete has proven Citi Field to be a hitter’s paradise, and seeing what Wags did with JD Davis, I assume Marisnick is good for 30 or 40 Home Runs!

Now if you’re one of those weirdos who is like “who the hell is Jake Marisnick?” – dude he’s played in the majors for 7 seasons and was in the World Series in 2017 and 2019.  Baseball is well marketed, this guy is like a household name.  He has 384 career hits!  His career OPS is .660!

Marisnick plays Center Field so now that’s solved.  He was a member of the 2017 World Champion Astros, so probably knows Inexperienced Carlos Beltran and can potentially help the Mets steal signs at an elite level.

Welcome Jake, and thank you Steve Cohen for turning this franchise into a serious team making serious moves.  Maybe the team is far worse than it was yesterday morning, but it is better than it was yesterday afternoon.

We’ll let Media Goon know what number Marisnick is assigned as soon as we find out so that MG can buy a jersey.  I can tell MG that it won’t be Jake’s traditional 6.  That number is in use in Queens.

Mets Police Morning Laziness: Sell The Team? Wilpons say OK sure!

SLACKISH REACTION:  Wow what a fun 24 hours in Queens.  We won’t even have time to get into the Mets dressing Wheeler as Hannukah Harry or Wheeler signing with the division rival Phillies because Generic Winter Holiday came early to Queens with the shocking news that the Wilpons are selling!

Now I want to make sure that we don’t gloss over that Tiki Barber broke the news while the entire Mets beat got out hustled.  Most of that beat was at the Generic Winter Holiday Party in Queens enjoying the pastries of the Wilpons, and somehow all missed this story.

However, before you get too excited, let me warn you of the Dystopian Future where the Wilpons are Lame Ducks for 4 seasons.

Because I like to First Guess things, let’s remember here on December 5th that the Main Stream Media was all in Cohen’s Corner when this was announced.  Let’s bookmark this one.  That way some distant August when what’s left of newspapers are killing the Mets we can remind them they were as excited about Cohen as they were about Mickey Callaway.

And so what if Cohen once…well here you read it…

NEW YORK (Reuters) – A federal judge in Manhattan on Friday threw out the 2013 insider trading guilty plea of a former trader at SAC Capital Advisors LP, the hedge fund once run by billionaire Steven A. Cohen, saying recent changes in the law meant there were not enough facts to support the plea. (via Reuters)

Who cares, right? Keep your head down and be glad those Ponzi Billionaires are gone and replaced by the insider trading charges thrown out billionaires.   Men of the people.  True Mets fans who only have our interest at heart.  Thats The Narrative being told today, let us hope it is true.

The good news for me is that the Newspaper says that Cohen was the inspiration for the lead character on Billions, which is great because I have already taken the Wags character out for a drive….so for comedy purposes this is AMAZIN’

Oh yeah and this happened…on any other day people would be rioting in the streets….

“I’m sad to see Wheeler leave the Mets and to a divisional competitor,” Noah Syndergaard told The Post. “But at the same time I am happy to see him get a fat paycheck. He is an elite pitcher.” (via NY Post)

….but Steve Cohen have the Wilpons cover, so everyone just ignore that one of the Five Aces went to a division rival.   I know y’all can’t multitask, I get it.

But for this Cohen thing….let’s hope for the best, but as this is Queens….always prepare for the worst.

NOT LINKING: The folks at the AAIMBR used “Christmas Party” in their recap article.  It was not a Christmas party guys.  Let me read to you from the invite: “The Mets will host school children at their annual Kids Holiday Party on Wednesday, December 4 in the Foxwoods Club at Citi Field”

But hey, you’re wrong about almost everything else so why not this?  I’m just surprised the Mets invited all 74 of your writers, must have been a big party!

Wilpons to….Sell The Team?


ICYMI this afternoon, major news…

This is proof that if you wait log enough Billboards do work!

We finally train the Wilpons to build statues and retire numbers and NOW they leave.

Now I know everyone is all excited, but surely this tweet is interesting…

I don’t know much about Mr. Cohen so I thought I would google “billionaire Steve Cohen”

Those all long interesting, and are from publications I am familiar with so I look forward to reading and learning more.

In the meantime, I am going to hit the warehouse and buy all the remaining Sell The Team tees so I can sell them at a marked up price in 2025 when you guys don’t like the new owner either.

However, I am told “Sell The Team Sooner” tees will be on sale at Mets Fan Fest.  That said, my sources are not as good as Tiki Barber’s so this may not be accurate.

Oh and let us not miss the fact that TIKI BARBER had the story and out hustled the entire beat who were watching Nimmo be what I guess was Hannukah Harry at the Generic Wintertime Inclusive Party.