Mets Police Morning Laziness: Sell The Team? Wilpons say OK sure!

SLACKISH REACTION:  Wow what a fun 24 hours in Queens.  We won’t even have time to get into the Mets dressing Wheeler as Hannukah Harry or Wheeler signing with the division rival Phillies because Generic Winter Holiday came early to Queens with the shocking news that the Wilpons are selling!

Now I want to make sure that we don’t gloss over that Tiki Barber broke the news while the entire Mets beat got out hustled.  Most of that beat was at the Generic Winter Holiday Party in Queens enjoying the pastries of the Wilpons, and somehow all missed this story.

However, before you get too excited, let me warn you of the Dystopian Future where the Wilpons are Lame Ducks for 4 seasons.

Because I like to First Guess things, let’s remember here on December 5th that the Main Stream Media was all in Cohen’s Corner when this was announced.  Let’s bookmark this one.  That way some distant August when what’s left of newspapers are killing the Mets we can remind them they were as excited about Cohen as they were about Mickey Callaway.

And so what if Cohen once…well here you read it…

NEW YORK (Reuters) – A federal judge in Manhattan on Friday threw out the 2013 insider trading guilty plea of a former trader at SAC Capital Advisors LP, the hedge fund once run by billionaire Steven A. Cohen, saying recent changes in the law meant there were not enough facts to support the plea. (via Reuters)

Who cares, right? Keep your head down and be glad those Ponzi Billionaires are gone and replaced by the insider trading charges thrown out billionaires.   Men of the people.  True Mets fans who only have our interest at heart.  Thats The Narrative being told today, let us hope it is true.

The good news for me is that the Newspaper says that Cohen was the inspiration for the lead character on Billions, which is great because I have already taken the Wags character out for a drive….so for comedy purposes this is AMAZIN’

Oh yeah and this happened…on any other day people would be rioting in the streets….

“I’m sad to see Wheeler leave the Mets and to a divisional competitor,” Noah Syndergaard told The Post. “But at the same time I am happy to see him get a fat paycheck. He is an elite pitcher.” (via NY Post)

….but Steve Cohen have the Wilpons cover, so everyone just ignore that one of the Five Aces went to a division rival.   I know y’all can’t multitask, I get it.

But for this Cohen thing….let’s hope for the best, but as this is Queens….always prepare for the worst.

NOT LINKING: The folks at the AAIMBR used “Christmas Party” in their recap article.  It was not a Christmas party guys.  Let me read to you from the invite: “The Mets will host school children at their annual Kids Holiday Party on Wednesday, December 4 in the Foxwoods Club at Citi Field”

But hey, you’re wrong about almost everything else so why not this?  I’m just surprised the Mets invited all 74 of your writers, must have been a big party!


Wilpons to….Sell The Team?


ICYMI this afternoon, major news…

This is proof that if you wait log enough Billboards do work!

We finally train the Wilpons to build statues and retire numbers and NOW they leave.

Now I know everyone is all excited, but surely this tweet is interesting…

I don’t know much about Mr. Cohen so I thought I would google “billionaire Steve Cohen”

Those all long interesting, and are from publications I am familiar with so I look forward to reading and learning more.

In the meantime, I am going to hit the warehouse and buy all the remaining Sell The Team tees so I can sell them at a marked up price in 2025 when you guys don’t like the new owner either.

However, I am told “Sell The Team Sooner” tees will be on sale at Mets Fan Fest.  That said, my sources are not as good as Tiki Barber’s so this may not be accurate.

Oh and let us not miss the fact that TIKI BARBER had the story and out hustled the entire beat who were watching Nimmo be what I guess was Hannukah Harry at the Generic Wintertime Inclusive Party.

Citi On The Edge Of Forever 2025: No Wilpons, No deGrom, No Alonso, No Thor, No McNeil and 4 seasons of no signings

Behold!  The year is 2025.

Jacob deGrom is 37 years old and a Free Agent.

Pete Alonso, now 30, is an unrestricted Free Agent as he heads into his 7th season.  Jeff McNeil, now 33 is also an UFA.

The 2025 Mets are looking like they will be a collection of castaways and cheap players.  Like 2010 but without David Wright.   For the last few years, the Lame Duck Wilpon Regime wasn’t able to take on any big contracts.   The Cohen Regime wanted the glory for themselves, not the WIlpons.  Winning could wait.  The Cohens would be the conquering heroes, they weren’t going to fund a parade for Fred and Jeff.

The Great Lethargy had started the afternoon of the holiday party back in 2019.   (Greg Prince would remind us all that was also the day Zack Wheeler left for Phllly.)   Fans didn’t realize it at the time, but the Wilpons planning to exit the team in five years was actually worse than the Wilpons planning to stay.

The 2020 Mets were a disaster under their new inexperienced manager  Carlos Beltran.   The Wilpons didn’t do much to improve the team during the off-season as they were now just running out the clock.   Even if they had wanted to, there was a new player in the mix.   And so the plan was to bring back a team that had failed in 2019, with one fewer Ace, and an inexperienced manager.   The plan did not work.

July 2021 was not one that Mets fans remember fondly.  Noah Syndergaard and Michael Conforto were both 31, but they were both in their walk years.   The order came down to unload them.  Off they went.

Back in 2019, then General Manager Brodie Van Wagenen had traded the farm to bring in long forgotten players like Sugar Diaz, and The Big Zero Marcus Stroman.   It was now time to rebuild.  But you need young players around which to rebuild, and they were in Toronto and Seattle.

The 2022 season was dreary.  You kinda felt bad for deGrom, McNeil and Alonso, surrounded by castaways and never-was players.

2023 at least had the distraction of Robinson Cano’s seemingly endless chase for his 3000th hit which finally came in August.  The 40 year old made $24 million that summer.

Unfortunately, Van Wagenen had traded the farm.   The Mets were now rebuilding but had nobody to build around.   Wags was gone by now too, as was Beltran.  Omar Minaya prepared to hold down the fort until the Cohen regime arrived.

2024 was worse.  Pete Alonso was set free at the trade deadline.  The Mets held on to deGrom, always the good soldier,  the One True Ace, and Jake pitched to empty seats at aging Citi Field except for what turned out to be his final start on Sept 28th in front of a decent crowd, led by what was left of The 7 Line Army.   McNeil made it to the end too…and then off to free agency.

But 2025 had finally arrived and the Wilpons were gone.  Just like everyone always wanted.   Oh sure so were Pete and Jake and most of the fans but the Wilpons were gone.   Steve Cohen was here to save the day, promised so many years ago back during Trump’s first term, back before the war, back before the climate refugee crisis, and back when the price of food wasn’t something you ever had worried about.  Let’s Go Mets!  No More Wilpons!

The future everyone always wanted had arrived.

Be careful what you wish for, sometimes God does answer prayers.




There…were….five….aces (Wheeler to Phillies)

So Picard, by now you have heard that the Phillies (managed by Joe Girardi) have signed Zack Wheeler to a five year deal.  Now tell me Picard, how many aces do you see?  Do you see Matt Harvey, because I do not.  Do you see Zack Wheeler?  I do not.   Answer me Picard and I will set you free.  How many aces do the Mets have?

There are FIVE aces

And one last time…

Who else is glad the Mets rebuilt around starting pitching?

Mets Police Morning Laziness: groupthink has decided Jed Lowrie must go

I took some time last night and wrote a lengthy piece in which I ask: Are the Mets even serious about their Fan Fest?

SLACKISH REACTION:  Now one but two articles out there about how the Mets should not bring back Jed Lowrie.  That means today the copycat blogs will also write Jed Lowrie articles.

What’s even worse than the articles is the thought of how unoriginal everyone else will be today.  Sorry Jed, the tribe has spoken.

That’s it for your Mets news.  Read the Fan Fest piece.

NOT LINKING:  MLB Trade Rumors tells us the Mets are looking to move bad contracts.  Oh.  Does the GM know this, because historically he acquires them?