Go Lions Go!

Dear Lions,

Make sure you go 0-16.  Don’t be fools and win this game.

Nobody will remember 1-15.  0 and 16 and you live forever.

Let’s make sure the Matt Millen era gets this final monument to futility.

Force the NFL to put someone else on Thanksgiving Day (and let’s take away the Cowboys Thanksgiving advantage while we’re at it.).

Make sure it’s a hideous loss too.  Don’t lose 24-14, lose 48-0.  Or lose on a last second field goal.  Just lose in the worst way possible.  

Enjoy that #1 pick.

www.metspolice.com

Enjoy 49ers Mustache Madness

From ESPN.com and the SF Chronicle.

The Niners will be wearing their throwback uniforms on Sunday, and members of the team have been inspired by photos of the team’s greats — many of them sporting facial hair — displayed at the team’s facility in Santa Clara, Calif.

“Every single day that we walk through here, you just can’t help but admire John Ayers’ mustache. It’s awesome,” Hill said.

Hill had to be informed that the one of his position predecessors, the greatest quarterback in franchise history, once had a mustache. Photos exist of a young Joe Montana sporting a Fu Manchu, although it is not on the wall of the facility.

www.metspolice.com

Can Someone Do Steroids Or Something?

This off-season has been awfully quiet.

The Mets and Yankees made a few pickups and since then there’s been silence.

There’s no looming strike nor contraction nor home run records being broken.   Randy Johnson could win 300 but that seems unexciting (even if he’s likely to be the last one).  

Billy Martin isn’t around to get in a fistfight.

George Steinbrenner isn’t around to fire Girardi.

Bobby V isn’t around to wear a fake mustache.

It’s too cold for A-Rod to take his shirt off in Central Park, and even palling around with Madonna is boring.

Can someone do some steroids or something?  It’s a long, cold off-season and we could use some fuel for the fires.

Yankee Fans Just Rooting For Laundry Now (In The Wrong Bulding)

I think the band Nerf Herder said it best in their song “Vanhalen” when they sang:

Is this what you wanted?  Sammy Hagar.  Sammy Hagar, is this what you wanted man?

So Yankee fans, congratulations.   Let’s take a look at what you’ve achieved in your quest to dominate the 21st century, I’m sure it’s what you had in mind when Torre played the infield in back in November 2001.

You’ll find yourself north of 161st street in a building that kind of looks like home, but kind of looks like New Comiskey in that “that ain’t good” kind of way.   You can look south if you want to see the grass where the legends played – you’ve left them behind now, but you still have all the wonderful inconveniences of getting to “The Stadium” as you will insist on calling it, even though it isn’t really.

You’ll look out on the field and see all the great “Yankees.”

There’s Johnny Damon, the modern day DiMaggio.  When I see Damon I remember all his famous Yankees world series championships and I can’t imagine him playing somewhere else.

There’s C.C. and A.J. and Tex – guys we’ve come to know and love as “true Yankees” as long as they win and bums if they don’t.   Mike Mussina was a bum for 7 years until he won 20 in an otherwise crappy year, then he had the sense to get out while the getting was good.

Joe Girardi in the dugout.   The man who would replace Torre – and finish third.   The only Yankee manager in history to finish behind the (Devil) Rays.

Finally, we can’t overlook the future Yankee Hall of Famer, the man destined to hit Cooperstown with the Babe and the Mick.   The future all time home run king, who will break the record in the new stadium on the wrong side of 161st.   Yep, Mister Yankee himself, the man who brought his winning ways to the Bronx, the man who has won two MVP’s but still isn’t loved – number 13, Alex Rodriguez.

Is this what you wanted Yankee fans?   You may win, and you may have a new stadium, but back up to those Brosius and Jeter home runs in the Bronx back in 2001 and ask yourself if this is what you wanted?

www.metspolice.com