Generic Plaxico Burress Post

Were you shot last night?  No you weren’t.

Were you in a nightclub early Saturday morning?  No you weren’t.

Are you a cop?  No?  Then I bet you didn’t shoot yourself.

You are a cop?  I bet you know how to safe your gun so you don’t shoot yourself in the leg.

When you were young and went to a nightclub did you bring a gun?  No.

Did you hang out at clubs where guns were acceptable?  No.

Where there is smoke there is fire.   The Evil Money Grubbing Giants who charge their long-time fans $20,000 for the rights to pay for tickets did a good thing in getting rid of Shockey.   The team played better without the bad seed.  They should do the same with Plaxico.

Sheriff Goodell has done a great job so far trying to clean up the league.   The NFL needs to focus less on end-zone celebrations and more on off-field thuggery.   The league should use whatever clause it has to free the Giants of the financial burden, and the Giants should cut ties with Mr. Burress and encourage him to nightclub safely.

The Japanese Greg Maddux

While I was researching the “Top Mets Turkeys” articles from earlier in the week, I stumbled across the below from ESPN.  It’s hilarious how stupid the Mets can be.  Note the name of the assistant General Manager.



NEW YORK — The “Japanese Greg Maddux” is coming to America.

Satoru Komiyama, a seven-time All-Star in Japan, has signed a one-year, $500,000 contract with the New York Mets. The right-hander has an option for 2003.

“We think Satoru can help us as a starter or out of the bullpen,” Mets general manager Steve Phillips said. “Over there he is known as the `Japanese Greg Maddux.’ He has tremendous control and works both sides of the plate. He rarely falls behind in the count.”

The 36-year-old Komiyama was 12-9 with a 3.03 ERA in 24 games for the Yokohama BayStars of the Japanese Professional Central League last season. In 148 2/3 innings, he allowed 150 hits and 30 walks.

“Satoru really throws four pitches,” Mets assistant general manager Omar Minaya said. “He has a fastball, curve, change and cutter and has command of all of them. Satoru is an experienced pitcher who will be able to help our staff in a variety of different ways.”

The 6-foot-2, 195-pound Komiyama played for New York manager Bobby Valentine and would be the Mets second Japanese player. Outfielder Tsuyoshi Shinjo was a solid contributor in 2001, his first season with New York.

His best season came in 1995 with Lotte, whose manager was Valentine. Komiyama went 11-4 with a 2.60 ERA.

“He will be a welcome addition to our staff,” Valentine said.

Seattle’s Ichiro Suzuki, a seven-time batting champion in Japan made a huge impact in his first season in the United States, capturing Rookie of the Year and Most Valuable Player honors.


The Japanese Greg Maddux finished his one year Mets career with o wins, 3 losses and a 5.61 ERA.  The actual Greg Maddux was 16-6 for Alanta.  The Japanese Greg Maddux presently has 355 fewer career wins than the Ameerican version.

Top Mets Turkeys Of All Time (Part Two)

Yesterday we covered part one of  the all-time Mets Turkeys, those Mets who were supposed to do great things but didn’t.   Today we cover part two, once again in no particular order.

Bobby Valentine.  Don’t buy into this revisionist history that V is a great manager.  If you want your team to finish second then hire him.   V makes the list because he never had the Mets prepared.   Every season they would dig a big hole in April, be something like 8 games back, and then have to scratch and claw the rest of the season just to hope to play a one game play-in with the Reds to then be the Wild Card.    It’s a drain on players when you can’t rest anyone because every game after May 1st is a must-win.   The season goes a lot easier if you have a big lead unless you are our next turkey…

Willie Randolph.   Go over to some Yankees blog if you want to wax poetic on this guy.   He managed the biggest choke job in history and then dug a hole for the 2008 Mets that ended with the worst stadium closing of all-time.   Omar should have fired him last winter when that other guy from Brooklyn was available.  I think he’s in Los Angeles now, I heard something about him making the playoffs….again.

Mickey Lolich.   Here’s some data I grabbed off wikipedia that will tell you the story.  What it doesn’t tell you is that he was 8-13 for the Mets, and hated New York so much that he sat out 1977 (opened a donut shop and then rejoined baseball in 1978).

Lolich ranks among the Tigers’ all time leaders in many categories, including the following:
  • 2,679 strikeouts is #1 on the Tigers all time list
  • 39 shutouts is #1 on the Tigers all time list
  • 459 games started is #1 on the Tigers all time list
  • 329 home runs allowed is #1 on the Tigers all time list
  • 109 wild pitches is #2 on the Tigers all time list (behind Jack Morris)
  • 207 wins is #3 on the Tigers all time list (behind Hooks Dauss and George Mullin)
  • 508 games is #3 on the Tigers all time list (behind John Hiller and Hooks Dauss)
  • 3,361 innings pitched is #3 on Tigers all time list (behind George Mullin and Hooks Dauss)

Juan Samuel.  Look at the picture of Lenny Dykstra in a Phillies uniform.  Feel the pain.   They traded a beloved CFer and another beloved player in Roger McDowell, two of the key 1986 Mets for Juan Samuel.  Sammy played 86 games for the Mets and hit .226   Dykstra was an All-Star and flirted with .400 for a while.

Victor Zambrano.   Ah Victor, we surrendered Scott Kazmir for you.  Well, we didn’t, the Mets did.  Any fat blogger worth his salt wouldn’t have made that trade.  


Devil Rays GM Chuck Lamar told ESPN Radio Friday night that he lamented giving up Zambrano, but felt Kazmir was too good to pass up.

“It was a good trade for us, and I think it was a heck of a trade for the New York Mets,” Lamar said. “Victor Zambrano has been here a long time. … You hate to give him up but we’ve spent a lot of time and effort and money of getting a nucleus of our young position players. We knew this day was coming that we needed to start getting our hands on some pitching that can truly beat the Red Sox and Yankees in this division, and we think Scott Kazmir has that kind of ability.”

The Mets went 71-91.   Scott Kazmir…you know the story.

Did we forget any turkeys?  Hit comments.

Top Mets Turkeys Of All Time (Part One)

On this Turkey Day we celebrate the great Mets turkeys of all time.   Those who promised greatness and gave us nothing.  In no particular order…

Generation K:  I think it was best put by a friend of mine (whose brain I picked for this article) who said “Pulsipher, Isringhuasen and The Other Guy.”   Yep, these three pitchers were going to dominate the 1990s.  Izzy had a decent career somewhere else, Pulse was a mess, and you’re still trying to remember the other guy’s name.   At least Generation K weren’t saddled by horrible black uniforms for this picture.

Kaz Matsui:  The Yankees have a Matsui, we should get one too!   This was the height of the Japanese obsession where the Mets would sign Shinjo and “The Japanese Greg Maddux” rather than get the real guys.

Speaking of the Japanese Greg Maddux, that’s him on the left.   I will tell you his name Saturday to (a) torture you and (b) give myself a generic post I can write on Wednesday night so I don’t have to blog over turkey.

Bobby Bonilla.   We’ve covered this many times.   Great with Bonds, horrible with Mets.   One of the most hated Mets of all time, so what do the Mets do?  They bring him back for a second time so we can boo him more.  He didn’t make it to the final game at Shea.

Joe Foy.   You don’t know who he is.   He’s the Bobby Bonilla of 1970.  You kids won’t believe it now but the Mets could never find a good third-baseman, so they traded for one.   He hit .236.   The player they gave up was Amos Otis who played until 1984 and went to the playoffs numerous times for the Royals.  Foy was done after 1971.

Roberto Alomar.   At one point he was a lock for the Hall of Fame.  It was plausible that he was going to be the greatest second baseman of all-time.  He hit .336 with 20 and 100 in the pre-steroids 2001.   In 2002 he joins the Mets and .266 with 11 home runs.   Robby fell so far he wond up on the Long Island Ducks

Tomorrow, part two!

Mets Share Great Ticket Secret With The World (With Service Charge)

I’m sure it’s a coincidence but right after Metspolice.com asks why the Mets are hiding their ticket plans from the world, suddenly they’ve announced them!

First major offense is this:  Note: A $25 service charge will apply to each Plan purchase.

Why?  Mets answer us!   Why do you have to tackle on $25?   What possibly justifies this?  Perhaps you need it to offset the $20 million in taxpayer money you will decline to take from Citigroup?  Maybe you’re just greedy bastards.

I also see that if Mets Police Junior and I want a ticket plan it’s going to cost us $600.  

Some “highlights” below.

40 Game “A” Plan
This plan includes every-other regular season game to be played at Citi Field, starting April 15.

Seat Categories:
 Note: A $25 service
 charge will apply to
 each Plan purchase.
Metropolitan Box $5,970 per seat (Left Field Restaurant access included)
Excelsior Club Gold $5,970 per seat (Excelsior Club access included)
Field Box $4,975 per seat (Left Field Restaurant access included)
Baseline Box $2,985 per seat  
Excelsior Club $2,985 per seat (Excelsior Club access included)
Promenade Club $2,388 per seat (Promenade Club access included)
Left Field Reserved $1,990 per seat


5 Game Friday Plan
This plan includes ten (10) Friday and five (5) weekday regular season games to be played at Citi Field -starting April 17- and features matchups with the Yankees and the American League Champion Tampa Bay Rays.

Seat Categories:
 Note: A $25 service
 charge will apply to
 each Plan purchase.
Left Field Landing $600 per seat
Promenade Box $525 per seat
Promenade Reserved Infield $375 per seat
Promenade Reserved $285 per seat

Click here to display the Plan dates & opponents »

 15 Game Saturday Plan
This plan includes ten (10) Saturday and five (5) weekday regular season games to be played at Citi Field -starting April 18- and features contests with the Yankees and Rays, the National League Central Champion Cubs and the N.L. Wild Card Brewers.

Seat Categories:
 Note: A $25 service
 charge will apply to
 each Plan purchase.
Left Field Landing $600 per seat
Promenade Box $525 per seat
Promenade Reserved Infield $375 per seat
Promenade Reserved $285 per seat

Click here to display the Plan dates & opponents »

 15 Game Sunday Plan
This plan includes ten (10) Sunday and five (5) weekday regular season games to be played at Citi Field -starting April 16- and is highlighted by the 2009 regular season Subway Series finale and games with the Cubs and Brewers.

Seat Categories:
 Note: A $25 service
 charge will apply to
 each Plan purchase.
Left Field Landing $624 per seat
Promenade Box $546 per seat
Promenade Reserved Infield $390 per seat
Promenade Reserved $297 per seat

Click here to display the Plan dates & opponents »

 15 Game Weekend Plan
This plan includes three (3) Friday, three (3) Saturday, three (3) Sunday, and six (6) weekday regular season games to be played at Citi Field -starting April 15- and features three battles with the Phillies plus matchups with the N.L. West Champion Dodgers, Cubs, Rays, and ending with the final regular season game against the Astros.

Seat Categories:
 Note: A $25 service
 charge will apply to
 each Plan purchase.
Left Field Landing $648 per seat
Promenade Box $567 per seat
Promenade Reserved Infield $405 per seat
Promenade Reserved $309 per seat

Click here to display the Plan dates & opponents »

 15 Game Weekday Plan
This plan includes Opening Day and 14 other weekday regular season games to be played at Citi Field -starting April 13- and features three games each with the division-rival Phillies and Atlanta Braves, and a contest with the Dodgers.

Seat Categories:
 Note: A $25 service
 charge will apply to
 each Plan purchase.
Left Field Landing $568 per seat
Promenade Box $497 per seat
Promenade Reserved Infield $355 per seat
Promenade Reserved $269 per seat

Click here to display the Plan dates & opponents »